Saturday, March 10, 2012

Down With Cynicism

There seems to be this crazy misconception that it's unique or in any way appealing to be"cynical." I'm sure you picture yourself as some free-thinking renegade badass that's too jaded to hold on to hope, and too smart to trust anyone other than yourself. But here's something you might not have picked up on while you were lost in your pseudo-pessimistic delusions:

You're surrounded by cynics just as painfully conceited as you. It's not special, it's not cool, it's not even fucking edgy. Most 14 year old girls are just as cynical as you when they talk about boys.

You're just trying to shit on everyone else's good time, which would be perfectly fine and acceptable if you kept it to yourself and your skeptical friends. But unlike everyone else, you want us to hear/watch you take a shit, because you're convinced we haven't seen on somebody shit on something before. 

If anything, it's the optimists that are the minority. They're the real badasses nowadays, because they have the balls to duke it out with the snarky self-gratifying overly negative self proclaimed army of cynics. 

Let's look at the facts: 

-Cynics are always surprised by something good. They never expect anything to work, and they will never help you reach your goal, usually doubting it out loud while saying something  asinine about "sheeple." They counter this by spending months telling you about all the things in world history that didn't work out, and how little these failures surprised them.

-They get their point across by denouncing the effectiveness of their chosen medium while doing it, making them hypocritical douchebags(Example: Posting statuses about how posting statuses doesn't accomplish anything). Not only does this make your cry for help more identifiable, you alienate yourself from the only people that would try to help you. You know what they call people who cry and bitch and moan when nobody can understand them enough to help? Babies. And at least they have the excuse of not knowing how to speak yet.

-A cynical friend will never be there for you as a friend. They're too busy masturbating to the thought of being the One-Man-Army, the Gregory House, the Lone Wanderer. They don't expect you to ever come through, so they will never come through for you(For more info, google self-fulfilling prophecy).

Conclusion: Get hopeful, get positive, and don't buy into their bullshit. Believe in something and you will never be the tool of a skeptical coward's ego. They want you to feel shitty because they feel shitty, they want you to doubt every idea you've ever had, and they want to see you fail. They don't hate you, fuck...they don't even give you any regard as a human being. Cynics only care about themselves and how you see them, and they want you to not make it just so they have another negative thing to be right about. 

You insecure fucks. 


  1. Very well put, i should know im a cynic, dont disagree one bit