Saturday, March 10, 2012

Down With Cynicism

There seems to be this crazy misconception that it's unique or in any way appealing to be"cynical." I'm sure you picture yourself as some free-thinking renegade badass that's too jaded to hold on to hope, and too smart to trust anyone other than yourself. But here's something you might not have picked up on while you were lost in your pseudo-pessimistic delusions:

You're surrounded by cynics just as painfully conceited as you. It's not special, it's not cool, it's not even fucking edgy. Most 14 year old girls are just as cynical as you when they talk about boys.

You're just trying to shit on everyone else's good time, which would be perfectly fine and acceptable if you kept it to yourself and your skeptical friends. But unlike everyone else, you want us to hear/watch you take a shit, because you're convinced we haven't seen on somebody shit on something before. 

If anything, it's the optimists that are the minority. They're the real badasses nowadays, because they have the balls to duke it out with the snarky self-gratifying overly negative self proclaimed army of cynics. 

Let's look at the facts: 

-Cynics are always surprised by something good. They never expect anything to work, and they will never help you reach your goal, usually doubting it out loud while saying something  asinine about "sheeple." They counter this by spending months telling you about all the things in world history that didn't work out, and how little these failures surprised them.

-They get their point across by denouncing the effectiveness of their chosen medium while doing it, making them hypocritical douchebags(Example: Posting statuses about how posting statuses doesn't accomplish anything). Not only does this make your cry for help more identifiable, you alienate yourself from the only people that would try to help you. You know what they call people who cry and bitch and moan when nobody can understand them enough to help? Babies. And at least they have the excuse of not knowing how to speak yet.

-A cynical friend will never be there for you as a friend. They're too busy masturbating to the thought of being the One-Man-Army, the Gregory House, the Lone Wanderer. They don't expect you to ever come through, so they will never come through for you(For more info, google self-fulfilling prophecy).

Conclusion: Get hopeful, get positive, and don't buy into their bullshit. Believe in something and you will never be the tool of a skeptical coward's ego. They want you to feel shitty because they feel shitty, they want you to doubt every idea you've ever had, and they want to see you fail. They don't hate you, fuck...they don't even give you any regard as a human being. Cynics only care about themselves and how you see them, and they want you to not make it just so they have another negative thing to be right about. 

You insecure fucks. 

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

A Message To The "Nice Guy"

Okay, give me a minute to clarify, this does not apply to genuinely nice people. This is for every self-absorbed prick that thinks being nice means we all owe you something. 

If this applies to you, then most likely you have said something along the lines of:

-"I don't know why I bother being nice, everyone just fucks me over"

-"Being nice is hard"

-"Yeah? Well where would you be if I didn't do XY for you?!"

-"Maybe if I stopped being nice tomorrow everyone would see what it's like for a change."

You know what I'm thinking every time you spout your cliche bullshit? Being nice isn't hard at all.

It usually feels so rewarding to be nice out of the kindness of your heart, that all that other bullshit doesn't matter. I don't know what the fuck you're looking for, and your argument becomes staler and harder to believe every time you throw a bitch-fit about not getting paraded up and down the streets for being there for someone that needs you or helping out a total stranger. If it's that hard for you to do something without being completely fucking self-absorbed, then don't bother. Trust me, I don't want any help from you, cause from what I can see you "nice guys" throw your bullshit back in everyone's face.

You're exponentially harder to tolerate when you use this tactic as a means to pursue romantic interests. I mean, let's be honest, you hang around your chick "best friend," prey on her insecurities, make her hate each new boyfriend, and constantly emphasize that she deserves better. So...why the fuck would she consider being with you? You're pretty much the perfect embodiment of the shitty behavior that you keep warning her to avoid. And then when she doesn't wanna hook up with you? "Nice guys always finish last, wah wah wah, boo fucking hoo." If your attempts at imitating kindness were only to reach some sort of carnal or romantic end, then maybe you'd have an easier time being the dickhead you always tell us all you could be(or whatever plastic threat you hold against your chest to validate your angst).

An honestly open piece of shit scumbag that does one nice thing from the heart is always better than a saint that's in it for the perks. 

If you're going to make a consistent effort to be a better person and to have a positive effect on the world around you, then maybe you should start by being honest with yourself. If deep down you are an honest, kind, and decent person, then you don't even need to hear me say this, because you know that it's something that comes from within. The true nice people in this world don't need other people to reaffirm the fact that they are nice, they don't need rewards or praise. Unfortunately, so many of you seem to be under the impression that kindness goes hand in hand with justified entitlement. And I hope the world puts you on your ass when your selfish thinking finally breaks through at a critical moment to expose you for what you really are. 

What a fucking joke.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Great Red Spots:Animal Spirits and Far Away Places

The first thing I should tell you about Great Red Spots is that you never put a "The" In front of their name, because they really hate that. 

            That XMas Snoopy has been to more shows than you will ever know.

Great Red Spots are a two piece band out of Erial New Jersey, with Joe Musciano on guitar and vocals and Sean Sacks on drums. If you haven't heard them yet, please go to right now and download their free EP, "Choose Your Animal." Then listen to them as I recount when I went to one of their many excellent shows, which I think will embody my feelings about the kind of work these guys do.

I was running late getting was this show at a place called Sampson Farms, this massive open field in the middle of nowhere. My ears have almost been conditioned to instantly recognize the guitar and vocal work from Joey, a unique style that goes well with Sean's precise and superb drumming. The end result is a sound that's very easy on the ears while still maintaining it's inherent complexity. It almost feels like it comes from an emotional depth that isn't easily understood or appreciated, but the layers make themselves apparent the longer you listen.

Their music echoed out into the overcast night sky, and the overall beauty of the sound itself always makes me just stop where I stand for second to take it all in. It was raining on and off quite a bit, but if you are familiar with the former exploits of these two dedicated musicians, you know that's not something that would ever stop them. The delicate electronics were protected by a makeshift canopy of tarps, their cords running like wild veins across the ramshackle stage, and you could tell immediately that Joey and Sean were in their element. You can feel their passion from a distance, you can hear their emotions in every measure, and the overall impression is uniquely positive and contagious.

Friends laughed with friends, hugs and handshakes were exchanged, and ridiculous dancing was done while the rain started coming down heavy. If you fell, someone would extend their arm and help you up, and just for a few brief moments could really let yourself go and enjoy the phenomenal sounds of Great Red Spots.

My three favorite tracks: Ghost Invertebrates, White Dwarf, and Inspirace. But they're all amazing, even Full Moon Puppeteering, which is easier to appreciate if you understand Joey's quirky fascination with interludes.

 Unearthly animalistic, their core emotions interwoven into every track, and a metric fuckton of technical expertise, Great Red Spots are a force of nature not worth missing out on. 

They're on Facebook too(, go like them and they will love you forever.

 Thanks for reading, keep yourself involved in your local music scene, it does make a difference!